Ai-For-Art

Hullo all,

It has been a little while since I have been totally active on DA, but I'm back! It's taken me a few years, but I've been purging my DA of old pieces and am now going through my 11,000 notifications.. oops.

As you can all probably tell, I'm now a bit of a Steampunk.

SO!

I have returned out of the darkness.

I've been a little.. dead for the past.. 9 months? Something like that. Sounds about right anyway.

Well, I decided to return and be all "OH HAI THAR".

This journal may not make a lot of sense as I'm suffering from sleep deprivation... <3

Well, my life's been a little.. hectic recently.

I'll start off with the summer. In the summer I was told that my mother had skin cancer (again) and so they had to remove it. Not long after that my Grandmother had a heart attack and then in the same week I was told that she had cancer too. About three weeks after that I was then told that my Dad had cancer.. In between this my Boyfriend (now ex) cheated on me and then we broke up as he's been treating me like the shit beneath his feet. He then told me that he hadn't seen the relationship as going anywhere and just wanted to get "back in the saddle" after his previous girlfriend. Yeah, that made me feel great.

So over all it was a very painful summer. I was also depressed for about two months, not sure why though. I just was. I lost track of what I wanted, I lost track of my passion from drama and people kept on commenting on the fact that I had "lost my sparkle". It was true I honestly had. So, I came back to school and I was being told left right and centre that my family had cancer and I had to settle back in a school that I didn't like.

Then came the auditions for Les Mis. It was horrendous, I ended up crying on stage. I felt like I had lost everything. I only got the part I wanted though because the director knows me very well. Things just got worse though when someone said that I shouldn't play the part of Fantine as he didn't quite realise that I was sitting RIGHT next to him. At that point, I almost gave up completely. I got through it somehow; I told myself that I could prove them wrong. And that I bloody well did. Les Mis is going well now though, the show's next week.. and I'm exhausted by it. I also have to wear a disgusting green corset thingy. -_-

So then, I also had a lot of work to do. I'm doing something called "Pcert LAM" it's a certificate that will let me teach drama. Being the twat I am I decided to do it in one year in stead of two. WHAT A MISTAKE. So, last Monday I had to finish a 5,000 word booklet which I had never had help on how to write it before.. this was the day AFTER expo.. somehow I did it, but I was so tired I was shaking.

So then, to expo! (This is a bloody long journal- sorry peoples!)
I had an epic time. I loved every moment of it. (That's a lie... I loved most moments.) The only two things that spoiled it were bumping in to a "friend" of mine.. someone who made out with my ex a day and a half after we broke up. (Y) And also having to leave early on the Sunday morning for a Drama rehearsal. The cosplay was recognised, so that's all I really wanted. <3 I had a small problem with it though; the skirt was BLOODY short. I had to wear a jacket all day to cover my modesty, as I'm a complete idiot and forgot to bring shorts to wear underneath. ;-; I met some amazing people though, some people that I really do hope that I'll be able to stay in contact with. I was stolen on the Saturday by two very lovely Norwegians who decided that iw as going to spend the rest of the evening with them. So, I did and sat in their hotel room with a lot of people I'd never met in my life and we watched "How to train your Dragon" and I have to be honest.. I cried. They were all so lovely though, and I'd never felt that accepted before. I'm normally quite a shy person at expo, so being picked up and spoken to was a great feeling.

Okay.. I think I'm about done now.. I also can't see straight.. so. SLEEP TIME. (ie, lessons).

AHAHAHAHAHA.

My boyfriend cheated on me. This is fucking great.

Well, this will be one frick of a Journal entry full of what's happened in my life recently. It's the start of a new year, so why not? I might as well get it all out.

Jeeze 2010. This decade has been my childhood decade and now I am no longer a child. That's a pretty sad thought. 2009 was an..interesting year. There were a lot of downs to it but I was able to cope with them like I have never ben able to do so before. I lost someone who had been very, very important to me. "When you're the best of friends. Having so much fun together" If anyone knows what's that from I will send you a packet of cookies. I'm not joking.

Well leading onto losing friends, let's get on to the reasoning.

School.

I moved school. I decided to change Sixth form for some..stupid reason. I'm at this school where sometimes I have to be there seven days a week and when getting home after 8:00pm is a very common occurence. It's a boarding school for the elite, it's shocking. I never knew that there were some rich people that acted the way that they do. You know people in Slytherine? Who think that they rule the fucking earth and can walk all over everybody. Yeah, there are people LIKE that. There was this one guy that said "..The fucking coons are taking over the school." I am not racist and I was DISGUSTED. Completely disgusted. Racist jokes are made constantly. And not just racist jokes, jokes at other peoples expenses. People will call others fat, in a horrible way.. They will just make snide comments where if someone actually properly looked into them they would run away crying. Well, I would.

The guys just think they own the world and some of them are very, very creepy. I've already been pinned up against a wall, had my butt pinched, had my boobs groped (Which seems to happen all the time.. o_O ) and then someone tried to make me go down on them. NO. GET OFF OF ME. D< Some ofys are just..lol. They obsess over their appearence. They're always fluffing up their hair and soing other such things. Everyone loves rugby. . .o_o Sure, it's a cool sport but it's a school sport. Don't get your knickers in a twist. There are some good looking guys.. Very good looking guys. Doesn't mean they have to be arrogant though! Also the guys are really intimidating and mean. I don't like leaving my house alone.

I'll quickly describe the house system. There are 11 houses in the upper school and each house has their own building. Some are boarding houses so they're...HUGE and some are just day houses so they're smaller but normally pretty huge as well. It's quite a cool way of doing it actually and the houses are normally really together because you're always with them when you're not in lessons.

To the girls! HOLY SHIT IT'S MORE BITCHY THAN IN AN ALL GIRLS SCHOOL. Someone will walk out of a room and they'll start talking to them! And rumours get around like you would never know. I don't evn understand how they get around so quickly. Unfortunatly I've been on the recieving end of a nasty rumour. People who had never spoken to me before actually started avoiding me or would come up to me and ask if the rumour was true. NO I AM NOT DATING HIM. GET OFF OF MY CASE. *Raaaaaage!* The girls are also obsessed with looks. They starve themselves because they thinks that will make them look good. Go figure. But it's actually really easy for it to rub off on you. I'll admit that I would normally have two meals in three days. Yeah, I know, really bad. But it's like you have to not eat. It's so weird.

Teachers, the teachers are lol. xD Some of them are shit. Like one of my History teachers. >_> And then my ceramics teacher had been really really horrible to me, she's now being much nicer but..not by much. She made me cry in my lesson. ;_; I ACTUALLY CRIED BECAUSE OF HER. I know how to deal with her now though so it makes things a little easier.

I have got some friends, but..not loads. I think I'm one of those people that are kinda liked by most and then I get a few really close friends. One of them is really jokingly insulting. Like, she'll call me fat and I hope she doesn't mean it.. It's really hard because it actually attacks my self confidence everytime she says something like that even if she doesn't mean it. Little bit gay. And then there's my polish friend that's only been in England for four years and she's better at essays than I am.. DUDE, WHY!?

I mainly moved schools for the drama department though and the head of drama is a shit teacher and director. . .YEEEY! 8D I'M SCREWED.

I miss my old school.

Lots of other things have happened recently but I'll only go into them briefly. The fail that was MCM October. My Birthday. The school play. Meeting of new friends. Losing of old ones. Blah blah blah.

I have met one awesome little demented chicken, I love her to bits. HecateTheBored AND I'M GOING TO AX IN THE SUMMER WITH HER BECAUSE WE LOVE EACHOTHER. Yes. I love her.

To a friend: Chin up, look forward. And if that's hard.. THROW A VEGETABLE OUT OF A WINDOW.

Snow.

I've always loved snow. Not this time.

NOT THIS TIME.

This time I've been stranded at my friends house with no way of getting home, this means I've had no clothes, no PJ's, no toothbrush.

I feel disgusting. And I want to go home.